Paying attention to the unspoken…
A little over a week ago, I lost someone dear to me. While he had been sick, my step-father, whom functioned more like a father and was always present for my family and I, lost an 8 year battle with multiple illnesses.
At the time, I was shocked. I knew he was sick. I spent most days trying to see him or talk to him over the last few months. Reality is he was sick for years, but he was like a cat - another life each time. So in my mind, I didn’t think that would be my last visit. Sure, I knew we didn’t have another decade together but I didn’t process we only had minutes left.
Now that I am over a week out from losing him, I can see the signs of his end. I can feel comfort in how he beautifully was remembering important moments in life. I see his last push of energy. I see his openness with words of love and admiration. I can see how hard he tried. And in the days that came following his death, I heard the stories of his love and appreciated the memories capturing in the pictures we shared.
It got me thinking. Perhaps the most important skill in life is paying attention to unspoken. He never told me “this is it, I have days left.” Rather he was reflecting and enjoying. I am forever grateful to my supportive husband for believing in me more than I do myself and pushing me to open GCS. Because GCS afforded me the time to be more physically present during those last few weeks. To be in the moment with these unspoken signs.
As I choose to remain an eternal optimist, I think he wanted to remind me what paying attention and being present can bring. The past year, I have honed in on it and what I have learned has been immeasurable. So, if you are moving fast for work or personal life, I encourage you to find a moment each day to be so present that you can pay attention to the unspoken moments.
We share a love for water - specifically oceans. In his memory, we went to one of his favorite places to enjoy a cocktail as he would and watch the sunset. In the unspoken, I saw my 3 children and my 2 nieces have began to copy the adults. They order like us, they chat about their day, they play in the moment. The wait staff cared for us - not just for a tip or good service; but because they know us. They appreciate the locals and our support of them. My mom was taking in emotions of all kinds and I felt that our presence, not our words, were helping her heal.
When you remove everything and put blinders on to focus in on the moment, it is amazing how deeply you will learn…