When life gives you lemons…
Through them back? Add some sugar? Maybe some tequila?
Trying to stay positive is hard.
No matter the situation, rejection, failure, fears of regret, inability to complete a task or just a bad day… all can make it hard to maintain a positive mindset.
We know that mindset is important to how we project ourselves but when you stub your toe (physically or metaphorically) man does it hurt! Mindset be damned, you want to be cranky about it. But is it so bad to sometimes say I won’t be making my lemonade (or spiked alcohol drink!) just yet.
I actually think sitting with disappointed, for a short while, can be healthy. The trick is knowing when to finish your venting, find an action you can control and move on.
I am building something new. I have always had the stability of a big business behind me. But, I also had invisible hand-cuffs making me feel like I was short changing myself and my clients. Not in a bad way all the time, but in a way that did not work for me. I took a leap and it is a very vulnerable leap. I am constantly hunting. Constantly hoping I said the exact right thing to a stranger. Hoping said stranger was not just using me to get their own intel. Hoping for honesty in a conversation…. at this point, I am just hoping for closure because ghosting is insane. (That topic warrants its own reflection about what it says about those who ghost vs. those who own difficult conversations)
In any case, sometimes I think I am going to land something and it does not happen. This is why I think it is healthy to say “please hold on my lemonade.” Let me be sour, so that I can appropriately be angry, relive all the steps and then my light bubble goes off and I learn something.
Every disappointment has a potential to be a learning moment. Being aware of that, allowing yourself a balance of emotions and thought process can help you be a better leader.
Why does this matter? Because the best leaders don’t always sugar coat. They understand how to let a team sulk for a minute. They have the maturity to understand the emotional roller-coaster is a shorter way to success. They may empathize or even openly sulk too. Insert multiple ESPN highlights of coaches expressing disappointment with emotion and talking about getting back out tomorrow to assess. Because it is okay to be a leader who is not always only positive.
If you want to grow rapidly as a leader, you need to be more than just the cheerleader, you need to be in the trenches so that follower-ship will blossom. So no lemonade, for now.
(Yes, that is my little lemon tree that takes all season to make about a dozen amazing lemons… well worth the wait!)