How do kids make friends so easily…

Today we sat on the beach. My 3 children playing together. Having fun. Enjoying really amazing weather. Then it happened… kids sat next to us.

We did not know them. But they seemed similar ages with a quick size up.

My youngest, who turns 5 in last than 24 hours, had no issues about it. He picked up his shovel, waddled on over in the sand and started into the conversation. He was quickly identifying a game and asking these strangers to come join.

One jumped in and the other a bit more reluctant. My son then asked for opinions on the game and that sold the second child. As the time went on, their parents gave me an obligatory nod as to say “thanks” and “do not worry, I am watching my kids from here.” I, of course, smiled back with a similar response.

He now began to merge his two older sisters with these two girls that seemed similar size to them. Before long they were all giggling and playing. Normal kids play, I know. And for those of you regular followers you are probably saying “so what? that is what kids do.” True, but within 30 minutes of playtime, friend he did know came over.

Not just any kids. Our summer best friends. The kids that grew up on the same beach as us. The ones we spend summer holidays with. The ones we refer to as cousins, even though we have no relation. Curiously, I leaned forward in my chair to see how all of my kids would react. Would they ditch the new acquaintances that were filling time? Would they be slow to acknowledge their besties? Would each child act more to their personality than the moment? (Meaning will they even do the same thing?)

Before my son could do anything, the new acquaintances ran to our besties. They knew each other. Quite a fun coincidence. Turns out they go to elementary school together. After a fun wow! My heart wondered if this would make a weird divide. As you can guess, it did not. My 5 year old explained the plans they had started and our old friends jumped right in.

As if that was not enough of a evolution, 6 high school girls sat about 10 feet from us. Turns out 3 of them dance with my oldest daughter and have been assistants for my middle daughter. New dynamic on the playing field. Within a 10 foot circle: new acquaintances who seem to jump right in to play, the besties we spend our summers with and now 3 older kids (girls) who bring a cool vibe.

The suspense. Which child would break away? Will they be nice to everyone? How will this go?

Surprise: My almost 5 year old got the high school girls to help dig the hole that his acquaintances were working on and his besties had now joined. They turned it into a restaurant with cooks, servers and staff; and our high school friends and their friends all happily ordered from our beach front cafe.

My almost 5 year old was a born leader. He has confidence for days. He did not second guess the audience, rather doubled down on what he was confident in: himself, his ability to engage in conversation and to have fun.

I want that. I want to walk into social settings and not second guess the different groups I am interacting with, no matter how new or comfortable it may be. I want to know that what I am doing, I am confident will be well received. These life lessons from kids are really the focus we should all have.